Snowflakes and Sunsets
by The Hufflepuff Marauder
Summary: James and Lily can no longer be together, but after a chance meeting their feelings are rekindled but soon extinguished when he realities of war return. JP/LE SB/OC SS/OC
1. York

**_Snowflakes in her Hair_**

 ** _\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\_**

 ** _Unashamedly dedicated to Purest Love_**

Lily loved James.

James loved Lily.

When you discover the one person in this world who makes you feel understood it is the best feeling in the world. And for Lily Evans she had found that (eventually, after much convincing) in James Potter. He believed in her even when Lily felt incapable of believing in herself and sometimes his overbearing determination to prove that she was resilient drove her mad. Sirius would remark with a wicked smirk that James' determination rivalled his own 'dogged' diligence before Erin warned him he was in close proximity to Lily's wand.

The last few weeks in January had been James' favourite time of year because it gave him the chance to flower his girlfriend with presents without her being allowed to protest against him. Lily had a thing about her birthday, it was childish but it endeared her to him all the same. When she was a little girl her parents would mark out a small space at the bottom of her bed and deposit a pile of small, neatly wrapped presents. Severus had maintained the tradition until their fourth year but no one had done it since. Then came James.

But this January would be different.

Because there was no more Lily Evans and James Potter.

The day Hogwarts ended was the day that life had changed. The dangers they were facing had put everyone on edge, the wizarding world was maligning itself with those who believed in pureblood. It wasn't a surprise given the fall out aft the war, 35 years in the life of a wizard disappeared like the blink of a crows' eye. Muggleborns were being urged to go into hiding, some had not needed telling however there were some muggleborns who needed it drumming into their head with an iron ladle.

In the Order of the Phoenix four witches including some of James' classmates were refusing to go into hiding, persisting they were just as brave as any pureblood or half-blood. Then there was Gary Smith and Drogo Bones who refused to fight and were passively disagreeing with the plans to directly attack the meetings where large numbers of death eaters would be in attendance.

But he was making things difficult. Their romance had significantly cooled to the point where Lily felt James was freezing her out. Weeks would disappear where she didn't hear a single word from him, which made her think the worst had happened to him. James' job with the Order often made it impossible for Lily to contact him. They had agreed once the danger had subsided they would be together like a proper couple. There would be no more hiding beneath the shadows of Albus Dumbledore's tail coat.

And precisely two months ago, James had effectively put their relationship on permanent hold. He told her there was no point staying together if they never saw each other. Lily had accused him of not being selfish enough to stay with her. Alice and Frank managed it for Merlin Sake! But James had refused to put Lily in any more danger than she need be. This had gone down about as well as a deflated qauffle in a quidditch cup final. Lily didn't agree with his illogical plan- they were surely stronger together than they were apart.

It was a week after Lily's birthday that James had discovered a truth that wouldn't just put their relationship on hold, it was something that would put an end to it. Unintentionally James had turned up early to an Order meeting and overheard Snivellus and Albus deep in conversation when he heard the Slytherin wanker mention Lily's name. Assuming he was still pining for her James wanted to march in and punch him but there was an unusual sound of far emanating from behind the Headmaster's office door and it was slipping from the lips of the cowardly snake himself.

 _'Lily will be in_ _ **more**_ _danger if she marries Potter'_

 _'Severus you can no more persuade Lily Evans to do what you want than I can'_

 _'There are rumours of a prophecy Dumbledore! He has sent me here for Myriam Syed,'_

 _'Miss Syed is not a Seer'_

 _'She has become a person of interest, Dumbledore. And on the delicate matter of Potter. He isn't worthy for Lily.' He heard Snape say. Even through the densely structure oaken door you could tell his voice oozed grease and bitter resentment._

 _'Miss Evans has made her choice, Severus and if you are here to persuade her otherwise I fear you may already be too late'_

 _'What do you mean, Dumbledore?'_

 _'I believe the rumours of a prophecy too Severus. Not much doesn't reach my ears these days.'_

 _'Then you suspect as the Dark Lord does?'_

 _'That Miss Evans and Mr Potter are destined to be remembered in history for defeating Lord Voldemort? Yes, I do, Severus.'_

 _'BUT WHAT IF LILY DIES?' raged Snape_

 _'Then Mr Potter and yourself will have to accept those consequences'_

 _'You are absent of heart, Dumbledore. Truly absent'_

 _'I am aware Severus' hearing Dumbledore so firm and calm when Severus was raging perturbed James. This was his life and Lily's they were discussing! 'Mr Potter and Miss Evans will be in danger if they go through with the marriage, however you-'_

 _A loud noise came from somewhere far off and James recognised the scraping noise as the statue that was guarding the staircase precisely where he was standing. And James threw the cloak over his head and around his shoulders. Two nervous looking students were being marched up the stairs by Professor Bruce, the Magical Travel professor. James watched his old professor knock sharply on the door and as the door swung open and the landing was clear James exited swiftly down the stairs._

James remembered standing there for what seemed more than was appropriate to stand behind a door listening to a conversation he shouldn't have. He had turned the information over in his head until it couldn't sink in anymore, but could he really take Severus' information seriously? There was a small proportion of guilt James was feeling towards eavesdropping on his former headmaster but was confident he knew who he could impart the information too.

Wanting to heave the weight grudgingly building in his chest onto someone else it was beginning to feel like stone bricks were tying around his intestines and pulling inside him like a tug-o-war. James couldn't remember how he managed to find his way back to Sirius' flat or how much Jameson's Blackcurrant Wine he drank either. But Sirius' who cared more for James than even Lily perhaps did told him his way was clear.

If he truly loved Lily then he was never, ever to tell her what he had overheard Snape discussing in the headmasters' office because it would just make her more doggedly determined to stay with him. Sirius told James that it was foolish to take the word of Severus Snape as the truth before covering all the possible angles. But when James informed Sirius that their prophetic headmaster had agreed with Snape did Sirius' attitude change.

He loved Lily like a sister, her life was just as important to him as it was James.

And Sirius urged James to do the right thing.

Lily was devastated. James clammed up against his will, he tried his best to reassure Lily that their life would go back to normal but it just began to eat away at the crumbling walls of their relationship until only the ruins of love remained.

James truly missed her some days but was often harshly reminded of the consequences if they strayed back together. He had found it difficult in the early days – Lily glowered at him during meetings when she thought James was not watching her. And after a few weeks it wasn't only James picking up on the distinctive tension in the room.

And Lily handed in her resignation to the Advanced Auror Training programme a week before they had been due to get married. On the one hand James couldn't believe she had decided to leave without telling him and on the other he was slightly relieved. At least for now she would be safe, or so he thought.

He decided to give her space, he had no right to ask anything of her anymore but something was niggling at him. James wound up running after her- not that much had changed- he stood at the bottom of a damp barely lit stairwell he quickly marched down the stairs where Lily lived.

 _'You can't just quit'_

 _'This isn't anything to do with you, Potter'_

 _'It is. Are you leaving because of me? Because I wouldn't'_

 _'Not everything is about you James.'_

 _'Why leave the programme Lily?'_

 _'I'm needed elsewhere if you need to know so badly about where I'm going- ask Dumbledore' she spat at him venomously. James could hardly believe that less than two months previously they had been lying close to one another, his arms wrapped over her body as they sat on her sofa making up seating plans for their wedding. Now he was standing in her unfurnished living room watching her uncaringly tip her belongings into boxes._

 _'What do you mean?'_

 _'Ask Dumbledore James. He thinks it might be a better use of my talents if he sends the little muggleborns back home and if we argue he will throw us in Azkaban. This time we aren't being given a choice' the bitterness was reaching a raging volume and she stared hard at James as if his mere presence was annoying her. 'Why are you here?'_

 _'He's sending you home? I thought you were leaving because of me' and a hollow, cold laugh_

 _'No. You might've ripped my heart out crushed it into ash but I am not leaving because of you, James Potter' she laughed hollow._

 _'What has Dumbledore said to you' James was panicking. The old coot had better not let anything slip, then again he had no idea about James and how much he already knew. If Lily was now being sent away it must all be true- or was she going willingly like some of the other muggleborn members of the Order?_

 _'James I want you to leave. Now'_

There had been no arguing with her back then and James wasn't keen to remember the _entire_ argument.

As long as war raged everyone felt that life as they had once known it was paused. Their lives trapped in a stoic time warp where wizards and witches stood either side of the divide and the muggle world was caught up in their crossfire.

And the Order was the only thing standing between the two.

\/\/\/\/\/\

 ** _1979, January 31st, York_**

The snow had arrived earlier than the forecasters said it would and the start to 1979 was the coldest anyone had seen in years. James left the warm confines of The Old Crone walking out onto the street he inhaled deeply letting out a long rattling breath over his dry lips. The sharp bitter cold hit him square in the face. He wondered if Sirius was having a better day interviewing potential Aurors at HQ. He had spent the last three days in York following up a lead Moody had given him - some witch named Callahan selling fake healing potions to muggles which instead of healing them or making any attempt to do such a thing instead was causing them to sprout extra limbs. Remus were stationed at Hogwarts still- something Dumbledore had insisted upon. Peter on the other hand was the only one who had the predisposition of time spare to express any real concern about James heading out on a mission alone.

'There won't be another bus for an hour! An hour!' ranted a ginger haired man wearing a long tartan green mac whilst attempting to catch the eye of other passengers, including James, who were also waiting by the bus stop. He was becoming accustomed to the muggle transport system operating around the city, the muggle money still confused him but no muggle bus person had yet refused the coins he had handed over to them. The crowd of people was starting to grow as more muggles joined the que, the tartan clad man only moaning louder at the new people joining the throng.

James had been trailing Callahan for nearly three days- she had last been seen loitering around the University's student union and he was now here waiting for the bus to whisk him out towards the cluster of university buildings that lay just beyond the outside walls.

He distantly distracted himself with the array of numbers and details laid out on the wall of the bus shelter when he overheard the voice of someone he thought he wouldn't ever hear again.

'Tuney don't be like that!'

'You spoilt it Lily! Vernon's parents will think I'm _just like you_!'

James tried to obscure himself between the ginger haired muggle man and a gaggling group of teenage girls animatedly talking and one of the girls was holding a Des O'Connor LP. James blended himself into the background as he watched the red hair of Lily Evans pass him by, but she didn't walk far and stopped promptly beneath the next bus stop along the road. It had been over a year since he had seen or heard from Lily.

The apparition restrictions were too risky and James rooted himself to the spot his head tilted up towards the road in search of the bus.

'NO! LEAVE ME ALONE! DON'T TALK TO ME! YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING'

'TUNEY! Where are you going?'

James being cautious not to be seen by Lily he raised his head to see what was going on and saw Lily's sister striding away her dirty blonde hair had been cropped incredibly short above her ears giving her the appearance of a pixie. Lily on the other hand who was a complete contrast to her bony horse faced sister. She had her long auburn hair pinned back in two tightly wound plaits resembling a Celtic princess which swung over her shoulders when she walked.

'HOME WITHOUT YOU!' and James watched Petunia's hand rise about to strike but her look of anger turned to terror in a second and James highly suspected his ex-girlfriend was subtly aiming her wand straight at her sisters' chest beneath the shroud of her coat. Petunia then scowled and words were exchanged which this time did not reach James' ears. But he saw Petunia angrily march away leaving Lily alone. There was something pulling him towards her, he knew he had little reason to reconnect with the heartbroken witch he had hurt so badly but seeing her again was not something he had prepared for today.

James however was not the one doing the reconnecting. He didn't notice her moving through the throng of girls who were all squealing as they read the song titles of Des O'Connor's latest album until he felt her hand rest on his shoulder.

'James Potter you better not be following me!'

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

James knew he should've ran by now or cast a discreet glamour charm to avoid her seeing him but her hard stare had him routed to the spot. He had an overwhelming compulsion to hug her but instead he was waiting long enough just to see is she hugged him first.

'Heavens no- Lily- I' he blustered but she wasn't aiming her wand at him nor was she now glaring. Her stare had softened and she was smiling coyly.

When they had last properly spoke she accused him of ripping out her heart with his bare hands and crushing it into dust right in front of her eyes. Yet now out of nowhere she was stood speaking to him like he was a perfectly average muggle with whom she had never once had any sort of affiliation with. It was creeping James out, her peculiar lack of emotional response to him was unnerving. And he wanted to find out why she was acting so.

'Like I would even care if you were' she laughed. 'Working?' she asked eyeing the unusual combination of muggle attire, jeans that were flared too much and the purple ty-dye t-shirt, very un-James like. She shouldn't be being this civil to him, thought James and he found himself wondering if she was just being polite out of curtesy for the muggles standing around them when really she probably wanted to hex him into oblivion.

'Yes. But you remember, need to know' he said tapping his nose. Even he himself regretted the little motion, it made him feel like a right smug git. 'It has been a while since I've seen you Lily.'

'It happens when you are no longer… _working at the same place,_ James'

'Getting married?' James blurted out looking at the black and white striped bag she was clutching. The lettering was gold and silver and read "White Weddings" Lily cast her eyes down at the bag and shook her head vehemently.

'Blunt aren't you. No James.' Lily remarked 'my sister is. Well, she might be. It was… a surprise to see you. Stay alive, won't you? Good luck with your _work_ '

He wasn't even sure what made him do it. Seeing Lily was not in his plans, he should've resisted engaging in conversation with her, but it was flowing easily before he had chance to stop her.

'Are you going home?'

'I've always liked going home by bus. Until today' she noted casting a gaze along the street that was blocked by rows and rows of traffic. 'I assume the famous son of Monty Potter is surely not doing the same?' she said raising an eyebrow.

'Part of the job Lily. To blend in'

Lily smirked, eyeing his bright choice of muggle attire and glanced at the gaggle of giggling girls who were throwing bemused smiles toward James.

'And you're managing it so well'

There were probably about a thousand and one things they could say to each other, James was angered almost by the fact she was being so cool and placid with him. He half wondered if she was just pretending in her kindness towards him and that in fact she was just biding her time till the muggles vanished and she could properly well and truly hex him into oblivion.

'Well' he said slowly. 'There is probably going to be a stinging hex attached to the end of your answer but,' he paused waiting for her to raise her wand. 'Is it a terrible suggestion if I were to ask you to go for a drink?'

James was perturbed by the way Lily was looking at him. James had an overwhelming compulsion to tell her off because he hated that look she was now throwing at him. Like he had just crawled out all from his own grave decaying with his hair covered in maggots.

And he was even more shocked when she said with a small smile curling the corners of her mouth

'I don't see why not.'


	2. Understand

**_Authors Note: Thank you for reading and reviewing. :) This is just a sweet little fluffy one sot with a natural end. This is how I truly feel about someone so important in my life. He is there when I don't ask him to be, he hugs me when I'm down and reminds me of the person I used to be before life fucked me over. This chapter is dedicated to him because without him here I wouldn't be either._**

 ** _And to his family you are the most incredible, stabling influence in my life right now and I don't know how I will ever repay you for the kindness and patience you've shown me these last 15 years_**

 ** _Disclaimer: I do not own a thing. Apart from my own sanity I think I own that but not too sure._**

 **To You,**

 **For letting me into your heart and loving me first**

 **Your Reply,**

 **Thank you for showing me how my heart could open and, yeah, you did my heart good**

 ** _\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/_**

Gazing along the opposite side of the narrow cobbled street James searched for his new favourite place, a quiet bar where he had ate, most nights alone away form the prying eyes of any interfering muggles who had on previous nights joked about James unusual attire. He briefly looked over his shoulder when he heard the tip tap of Lily's heels hit the metal staircase. Running into her like this was coincidence, thought James- he knew there were rules but Lily had all but flung them violently from the back of a broomstick. He wondered why he was unable to stay away from her knowing everything that could fall upon their heads, it felt good to have something to smile about for a change and who else was to know he was spending the afternoon with her? Who were they really hurting if they caught up over a few drinks? Linking her arm through his James felt Lily's head rest gently against his shoulder she was capturing his attention with every rise of her chest as she walked briskly against him.

He had been wanting to resist Lily's subtle attempts to recapture his amorous attention, something he had convinced himself would never happen again but she seemed insistent on pushing her body as close to him as she could possibly manage without knocking them both over.

Lily shivered and unfolded the thick woollen scarf around her neck tucking it into the creases of her jacket.

'I think you should head home I don't want Sirius to worry I've hexed you' she said slurring every second or third word carelessly.

'Come on Lily.' James scoffed. 'You really think Sirius knows where I am?'

'Ah! James, come on!' she said wide eyed 'I practically had to share you with him most of our seventh year during our Auror training! How is this time any different?'

'If you hadn't noticed we've done some considerable growing up since then. And Sirius Black is not my keeper' he responded. Lily eyed him carefully.

Lily snorted. 'Not much of a Seeker either.'

'Better than you'

Lily groaned.

'One time James. The one time. You won't let me forget it will you'

He smirked.

'Not a chance, Lily. Not a chance'

 **\/\/\/\/**

Over an hour later they had already visited _The Nowster_ and _The Skinny Pirate_ where Lily had happily sunk herself two glasses of Chardonnay, the once crisp clean wedding bag was creased and had indifferently stuffed under her arm. James suggested they both go home but it appeared that was not going to happen as Lily appeared to be making more and more excuses to linger longer in his company. He knew the sword of Damocles was most likely hovering above his head but James was seizing every moment he could with the witch that had once belonged in his heart. Watching Lily run through the snow like an excited child toward the train station the worries of the war were flung from his mind.

"The 18:07 to Manchester is delayed by approximately thirty minutes. The train departing from platform 8 to Portsmouth is cancelled due to adverse weather conditions. Please stand by for further announcements…'

'I hate the apparition restrictions' glancing up at the timetable she sighed in frustration and stamped her feet and misplacing her feet on the icy floor she slipped spiralling dramatically backwards.

James reached out for her and Lily had all the vigour of a lame rabbit and smiled stupidly up at her own inability to stand on her own two feet.

'Up we get Lilypants' he said sighed. He caught the deep crimson colour appearing on Lily's cheeks and there was a small part of his ego which relished the deep red blush. She tried to pull away from him, it was almost like she didn't want to look at him and James had an annoying habit of making her see him. 'Lily apart from a bruised arse are you 'kay?'

'It's wet too' she said pinching the hem of her trousers she pulled them around her middle. 'Maybe I could do with sitting somewhere warm?'

'And not to mention you don't wanna leave me sat out here on my own with all these muggles in the cold do you,' he said cautiously 'you don't know what I'll do without your supervision?'

'One drink James.' Lily said trying not to slur. He brightened up instantly. 'One' she reiterated waggling a finger in his face. 'And no…you know what…'

He grinned. 'I wasn't the one blushing, Miss Evans.'

'Thought we were being normal'

'This **is** _our_ normal' the familiar arrogant insistence returning to his voice.

He made her laugh unintentionally as his hand wrapped around hers dragging her fingers into his palm till every one of her slender fingers interlaced with his own.

James led Lily down a lime painted green spiral staircase. Dangling overhead was a collection of dirty, old rum bottles. Leading her further underground James enjoyed the curious look on Lily's face as they passed a row of talking shrunken heads. The deeper they went the darker it became until the early evening light of the streets above were a distant memory. Low dim flames flickered from the gas lamps bracketed along the law which cast long eerie shadows over the narrowing staircase.

Lily followed James and they emerged at the bottom of the staircase into a wide circular room with a high ceiling that was painted black with a massive bright chandelier which hung low emitting a beautiful warm glow over the centre of the room. The bar curled around one half of the room where a large array of bottles displayed glinting in the light from the chandelier.

On the other side of the room a selection of booths set back deeply into the wall almost out of view of the bar. Lily peered over one empty booth in particular where she noticed a bright red candle burning low on the table and her heart jumped into her throat. Brushing the bare skin of her forearm gently against James' scarred flesh she brought his eyes to her gaze and flashed her eyes towards the booth.

'I'll be over there'

Lily observed a mild look of interested panic reach James' hazel eyes.

'Usual?' he asked 'Or sticking to the apple juice?'

'Oh,' Lily looked back to the bar and shrugged. 'Anything rum flavoured' she said casually.

Feigning mild surprise at her he said. 'Tempted?'

'You never know. I might've just changed my mind' Lily replied her curiosity piqued at the different looking bottles behind the bar. The booth was snug, a neat leather loveseat carved into the hollow of the room. There was red wax all over the table from where the candle had started burning and Lily picked at it whilst she waited for James to bring the drinks.

This was a perfect place. No prying eyes. She glanced back at James who was standing at the bar, damn the weather. And damn his arrogance, he knew how to play with her feelings and knew precisely what he was doing. The place had a distinct muggle feeling despite James' earlier protests about muggles Lily knew there was no magic in this bar.

Lily was starting to realise how easily she was succumbing to her own feelings. His behaviour was having significant impact. James joined her in the booth placing the drinks onto the table. Perching himself on the cushions next to her Lily shuffled closer to him.

'I've got one-word running through my head Lily,' he said resting comfortably back.

'And what's that James?' like before her hand automatically found his. He didn't reply instantly. He turned quiet and Lily began to seductively run her fingers slowly over the dense fabric of his jeans, where the material tightened her forefinger linger closer before tailing off, her hand changed direction subtly and roamed down the outside of his thigh.

Lily snugly nestled her head on his shoulder and sighed crossing her hand over his thigh she brought it upwards placing it lightly flat against his chest. His heart pumps were pulsed rapidly through the palm of her hand. The top of her head lightly grazed the stubble covering his chin. James rubbed his chin into her hair he had thrown his arm down over her back and he felt her body rest comfortably up against his. The same familiar feelings he had once experienced returned to him like a seeking bludger trying to knock him from his broom.

'You've no idea how much I'm resisting the urge to kiss you,' James muttered quietly

'Willpower failing you, huh?'

'You could say that,' James mumbled Lily peeked the faintest hint of a smile on his face. His eyes lingered over the exposed skin of her shoulder. It was like her thoughts were replacing his own.

'I didn't think you thought about me like that anymore,' Lily said moving her body forward she nervously sipping her drink, aware of his eyes on her as she left the comfort of his embrace.

'Feelings like that don't just go away,' James admitted honestly trying to tear his eyes away from her creamy pale complexion. Lily saw his lip start to tremble as if all conscious rational thoughts were being well and truly blasted from the room.

Lily shuffled slightly closer to him. She pushed her hands over her lap trying to resist the urge to run them back over his thighs and along the tight waistband of his jeans. Her head and heart were no longer communicating. She had to physically restrain herself.

'Oh,' Lily bit her lip and felt his face move closer to hers. Moving her head closer into his shoulder she watched him take another drink of his beer. Floating her hands over his lap she found his fingers once more and slipped her hand over his as if stopping her fingers moving closer. 'Really?'

'Yes, really,' he said his voice husky and barely audible. Lily studied his face carefully trying to rationally respond to him in a sensible mature way but her maturity was fast evaporating. Words tumbled dumbly out of her mouth.

'You still think of me?'

'Of course I do, you aren't someone I was ever likely to forget.' James said. Lily could hear the rattle of his breath as he spoke, his lips brushed against her forehead lightly. Her heart wanted to hear more.

'And hypothetically speaking,' Lily began removing her head from James' shoulder staring at him 'if things were different, if you hadn't completely taken leave of your senses- do you think we would be together?'

'Lily, this is dangerous territory,' he muttered darkly 'you know what Dumbledore said'

'Humour me,' Lily said firmly her free hand tightly gripping her half empty glass.

'Yes, you know we would,'

She gently bit down on her bottom lip as she dared him to look at her with an unbridled hunger, and uncontrolled desire was willing him to give into temptation. He took one last look at her before he turned his attention back on his drink.

'That's good to know' Lily added, her lips faltering into a forced smile. He suspected he had offended her somehow as she leant backwards away from him. There was an anger simmering behind her smile, he could tell.

'It doesn't go away overnight, you can't just do that,' James explained, looking almost sorrowful that she had moved away from him.

'It's been two years James. Why are we such a complicated thing? Shouldn't it' she said suddenly placing her head back on his shoulder, he smiled down at her, his free hand had draped around her shoulder slowly. Lily snuggled closer into him.

'I don't know Lily. It's just the way we are.' James groaned his hand gently rocked her shoulders pulling her nearer. He looked down at her over his glasses, his head then leant atop of hers and he kissed her forehead. Lily shifted her weight and moved her shoulders against the back of chair sitting up. James moved with her.

'Oh James,' Lily sighed heavily moving her hand slowly moving her hand along James' arm drawing a line all the way down resting upon his wrists where the little scars were visible just beneath his long cuffed white shirt.

'Really am resisting over here Lily,' James fiddled with his glass. He glanced down, her free roaming hand which had now once again migrated to his thigh, this time her forefinger travelled along the inside of his leg grazing the tightening area of his jeans. James couldn't move. His eyes followed Lily's finger as it travelled further up his leg.

'That bright pink neon sign you once mentioned James?' Lily whispered pensively her hand hovering patiently at the top of his jeans. She lowered her lips to the soft patch of skin at the nape of his neck, her tongue finding the sweetest spot on is neck. He had once told her that her emotions were often so obvious a bright pink neon sign would've been less blaring.

'Careful' he murmured. Lily's warm lips left their mark upon his skin.

'You know that sign is still lit, don't you' she teased resting back against his body.

'Yes Lily well I've tried powering it down' he joked. 'But you seem insistent on keeping it lit'

'How's that working for you?' Lily said her head back leaning against James' broad shoulder, and Lily felt his arm start to drop around her waist.

'Failing, badly,' James mumbled. He lowered his gaze. 'Very, very badly'

As Lily moved her head once again this time James was unable to resist her. Lily nuzzled her head beneath his chin collapsing into his chest, she nervously rubbed her nose with her hand and she smiled at him again. Her arms reached out to him. There was nothing holding her back- why should it? He was not exactly telling her not to respond like this! She held him so tightly fearing that if she let him go he would vanish. The lingering smell of coconut oil wrapped her senses in heavy reminiscent memories. As he pulled away Lily froze. He moved slowly towards her the tip of his nose lightly brushing against her cheek. His lips searching for her.

And before she even had time to comprehend the situation he gave in to temptation. There was a soft velvet feeling to his lips as he pressed gently against her, closing her eyes a flood of warmth filled Lily up over brimming with desire for him to kiss her deeper she moaned. Trying to gently to coax James' to kiss her again when her lips parted Lily pushed harder over his mouth eager to prevent breaking contact.

Lily softly opened her eyes. James had moved away, shamefully preoccupied with where his hands were.

They said nothing to each other until James' hand found purpose and he clutched his glass drinking the remaining amber liquid, which sloshed in the bottom of his glass.

'So you still like me then,' she blushed not really knowing what else to say.

'What do you think…' James said not even daring to look at her.

Dragging her robe on preparing to leave, James shuffled from the booth and held his hand out to Lily who laughed at him.

'No James' shaking her head vehemently Lily jumped down from the booth 'please don't do that'

The city was sparse and the road was deserted. Snow had begun to lay thick and fast on the ground giving the city its beautiful bespoke Christmas card look. They walked up out of the bar Lily shivered the cold wind hitting her face, she glanced at James who was pulling his coat collar up around his neck. Clasping hands Lily felt the warmth from James spread through her it was warmer than wearing gloves (which Lily had left in the bar, as per usual).

Momentarily stopping in front of a tall statue of a well-known politician James turned to Lily, their hands still tightly clasped together.

'Lily,' he said raising her hand to his lips. 'You know my feelings for you never changed, they just got buried deep. Because they had too Lily,'

'And now James, where are they now?' Lily said a slight hopefulness in her voice and for a moment James was completely quiet.

'Well, James?' she said staring at him infuriated by his silence.

 **\/\/\/\/\/\/\/**

The night air was cooler and snowflakes were turning to ice as they hit the ground. Standing closely to James, a smoky scent emanating from his breath Lily stared hard at him.

Lily was still waiting for an answer. But James wasn't inclining to give her one. They walked along the deserted road and turned up back down towards the river.

'You know what I said Lily' James raised her hands to his lips again pressing his mouth over each of her fingers one by one, looking at her added 'that was the past and that's where it needs to stay'

'If you know how I feel James then- and you just kissed me,' Lily said her voice starting to shake.

Dropping her hands from his she slipped her fingers out of their embrace. Anger was starting to replace her amorous entanglement.

'Lily,' he began. 'It is getting harder and harder to just turn this off,'

'I'm not asking you too,' Lily said half sternly. 'I just want answers from you James.'

'Lily you know I haven't got a choice in this'

They came to a stop by the river next to a long half broken bench, James collapsed onto the bench waiting for Lily to join him but she stayed standing. She paced up and down in front of him.

'No we haven't just because Dumbledore says! Dumbledore always has the last fucking word James, and I'm just a teeniest bit sick of everyone trying to fucking protect me!'

'Because everyone cares about us Lily _. I care about you_ '

Lily scoffed. The infatuated feelings James presumed she had carried minutes before began to evaporate before his very eyes.

'No James you don't care, and all Dumbledore cares about is defeating Voldemort and using other people to do it for him because he's too much of a coward to perform the arduous task himself'

'We all want the same thing' James said

'And that is why we were never going to work because you really are Dumbledore's man through and through aren't you Potter?' Lily screamed at him. He took a step back and James didn't appreciate the angry look she was now giving him. 'You assume everyone needs protecting, but not me James. I can protect myself. The world is not as black and white just because you make it like that'

'What are you saying to me?' he asked 'that you side with Snape like before? Lily that man will betray you'

Wrong thing to say. Lily rushed at him her hand coming down hard across his face as she slapped him hard across the cheek.

'No you don't get to talk about him to me,' Lily felt hot tears begin to bubble from inside her, she felt the wave of anger start to creep into her being.

'Lily you can only trust those who truly love you. They wouldn't betray you'

'And do you love me James, do you are capable of loving someone other than yourself?' snapping at him Lily walked away from him. Defiantly walking towards East Parkway where the buildings became sparser and the little cafes and bars where they met the greenery of Hyde Park. Light was low and snow was falling faster.

'I don't believe I am being asked that.'

'It's an observation James. You don't love me'

'I don't love you?' he said repeating it slowly.

'You left me!' she shrieked 'you betrayed me'

'No, no, not this shit again' he said racing to catch up with her. 'I had no choice.' He said aggressively

'Oh yes James! It's hard to listen to the truth isn't it? 'Cos clearly no one before me has ever had the balls to tell you that you are wrong, Potter!'

'I didn't betray you.' James said quietly.

'You did. Because you hurt me more than Severus ever could, you loved me James. And then one day you just didn't anymore' she whispered. James poured his emotions into a cauldron and kept it locked away, like the warlock with the hairy heart.

'I promised you didn't I that once things were done. Once **HE** was gone that we could be together. Properly, without worry Lily. Your safety comes first to me'

'Not good enough James! We are stronger together, when have you ever known me to hide from anything! You aren't the only one fighting this war, James Potter! For Flamels stone, let me help you'

James turned away from her. He couldn't believe how quickly his situation had turned. The temptation they had allowed themselves seemed a desperate, distant memory. He was becoming starkly reminded why he had decided to cool things of with her in the first place.

'You haven't really thought how I feel James.'

'Lily all I ever fucking think about is how you feel; you don't give me a second to think about how I feel because you are so busy fucking me telling me' shouted James. Lily was quick to retort.

'And like you ever listen to me!'

'Lily you don't always understand what I am trying to tell you.'

Lily sat down on the bench.

'I'm here. I'm listening to you'

James stared out across the torrent ripples of the River Ouse bobbing and flowing.

'Okay, Lils. I was not mature enough to navigate it, I mean us. I couldn't see a way through things. Lily I was scared I would lose you, scared something would happen. Do you know that I didn't stop protecting you? I didn't just wake up one morning and decide to stop loving you.'

'And you think I stopped, James you still have the same effect on me. Earlier should've shown you that'

'Well yeah Lily I aint no idiot, but tonight was' James paused '- it was a weak moment'

'So how come such a weak moment made us both feel so good. I know you felt something James.'

The high level of alcoholic intoxication was subsiding and James was acutely aware he was sobering up. His fingers were starting to freeze, he reached for his wand and gently poked at his fingers and a red warm glow spread over his hands.

'Maybe we should just go home' sighed James stuffing his hand in his pocket.

'Why so you can avoid me even more!'

'No you look freezing' he commented. His anger towards his ex-girlfriend dissipating seeing frost bite at her lip, she was shivering. 'Lily pass me your hands,' but she moved them away and he insistently grabbed them anyway. Pressing his warmth over her skin.

'I didn't want you to feel the cold,' he added looking at her surprised expression when she looked up.

'It's nice of you James, but I'm still pissed at you,' Lily said gratefully, muffled into the collar of his jacket snowflakes spiralling over her hair, she had left her hat back in the bar. He placed his arms more tightly around her letting Lily roll her head against his shoulder. 'But I don't think you deserved such an ear lashing'

He sweetly kissed her forehead snowflakes melting over his lips.

'What was that?' she mumbled pulling slowly away from James' body. Lily looked up at him her hair damp from where the snow had begun to touch it, her eyes bright and sparkling even if the light was fading fast stared at James intently.

'Your head looked cold too,'

Lily's lips quivered against the cold. James still had his arms wrapped tightly around her.

'And James?'

'Yes Lily?'

This time Lily kissed him.

'My lips were cold too…'

Lily and James turned back towards the city. Lily's wrapped her arm tightly through James' as they walked together along the banks of the river heading towards the park where the lights were few and people even more so. James cast a wry drunken glance at what Lily was wearing. She was still clutching the wedding bag, the handle wrapped around her wrist was starting to cut into her skin. Her long legs were striding out in front of her and James noticed the coat was sensible but still fell just above her knee where he could make out a sheer pair of stockings were being held up by red suspenders peeking out beneath the hem of her short skirt.

'Didn't mention it before but I approve' he said as they came to a stop at a pelican crossing, cars were flying around the corner oblivious to anyone else on the road.

'Approve James?'

'You look lovely' James stammered. His free hand jumped to his hair.

'Old habits eh?' Lily smirked catching him running his fingers through his tangled mess. The lights were still on red. James turned his head to face her.

'Not so much habit, more nerves,' he said, taking Lily's hands he stared into her eyes for a moment before embracing her again. She pushed gently away from him smiling

'And what could possibly make you nervous James Potter?'

'Do I have to be obvious here Lily?' he said tilting his glasses against the thin bridge of his nose. His dark eyes half open glowering at her over the densely lined rim of his spectacles.

'Not me, surely,'

'When have you ever **_NOT_** made me nervous?' James said.

Lily flung herself onto James her arms grasping around his shoulders and his arms grasped around her small waist.

'Oh what the hell' he said 'one more kiss won't hurt,'

And he forcefully crushed his lips against her. She was too stunned to do anything, this kiss was deeper and more urgent as if it was the last time he was ever going to be able to touch her this way. He pulled away from her suspecting that for whatever reason this time she wasn't as enthralled with him as she had been in the bar. She was aware that eyes in the station were upon them and she tried to move but too late he had kissed her.

'Lily-I'm sorry'

'You're my James, James' Lily whispered, his hands leaving hers. It was like he was stopping himself from coming back to her. He stepped away from her, Lily looking at him half desperately half sorrowful with a stream of thoughts pulsating through her brain. 'I need to know this isn't going to be the last time I ever get to see you'

James half-cocked his head to the side and smiled sadly at Lily.

'I don't know the answer to that Lily. You know we shouldn't-'

Lily was half hoping he would tell her something different than the words that had just tumbled from his mouth. And when he didn't say what she hoped to hear she felt anger begin to well again up inside her, she knew this was wrong and the Firewhisky had gone to her head. Lily's head was full like memories swilling around the bottom of a well.

'We've defied him already, James. You don't think we could just try again?'

James looked over the top of head.'Lily you've drank too much. You need to go home'

'Goodnight James,' she said her voice stiffening. Lily didn't know what to do because her feelings were bubbling beneath the surface. Lily held out her hand to him and he looked at it like it was about to bite him, her demeanour was so cold and stiff. 'It was lovely to meet you again.'

Enough, Lily thought. Enough.

Lily waited on a cold hard silver backed bench halfway along the platform, twitching her hands anxiously she waited for her train, she always travelled the muggle way after a mission and tonight was no different.

Except tonight she felt something she never thought she would ever feel again, and that was the sensation of James Potter's lips on hers. Running her finger lightly over where he had smudged her lip gloss she closed her eyes. It had been a mistake. Her mistake.

She was half annoyed and half hating him right now for everything she was feeling. And what was worse he was probably home by now over three hundred miles away from her and there was nothing she could do or say that was going to make her feel better.

'The next train to arrive at platform 4 is the 19:37 to Portsmouth,' the announcer called, the brisk harshness of the voice woke Lily from her slightly whimsical state. Her hair was matted to the inside of her scarf and she flicked it out scratching then nape of her neck her fingers wound around the silver chair hanging from her neck. Her beautiful cross, the only item of jewellery she had kept from her father after he walked out on her mother when Lily was 13, she wore it as a sense of empowerment rather than religious reasons.

The train pulled in and Lily looked along the train for the emptiest compartment she could find and where she could sit in peace quietly and try make sense of James' actions. Not to mention her own reckless behaviour. she ran her finger over her lips memorising every small movement his mouth had made and the tasteful sensation of warmth that his kisses so often brought her. He had been her everything. And even just a fleeting moment in his company reminded her of all the things she loved about him.

As the train pulled out of the station Lily began to wonder, was the war really worth giving up on love?

 **\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

James Potter hadn't gone home or to the University like he was supposed to be doing, no, instead he had apparated to Sirius Blacks apartment and dragged a begrudging Sirius out into London. He headed for _The Shaftesbury,_ a pub popular with the Theatre crowd just off Denmark Street in the West End. This had been the old haunts of many of the Hogwarts crowd when they came to muggle London because they felt they didn't have to pretend to be muggles, they could just be their plain old wizarding selves and fit in like a glove amongst the many musicians and actors who frequented the places all along Denmark Street.

'Remind me again' Sirius said 'why you pulled me away from the home comforts of my date with our landlady and what the hell was so damn important you abandon a fucking mission?' as James placed a pint in front of him.

'It's Lily, Sirius,'

'What the fuck Prongs? You are joking right-,'

James sighed. He suspected this reaction from Sirius but earnestly hoped he would at least give him an opportunity to explain.

When James spoke his voice sounded hollow and taking a sip of his drink closing his eyes said. 'I saw her in York, Padfoot' James tried to gage Sirius' response. After a moment of silence Sirius spoke.

'What did you do?' Sirius said slowly dragging the glass away from his lips.

'The exact thing we're not supposed to do,' James said running his fingers through his hair. 'I might've kissed her and-

'For the sake of Flamel, Prongs!' Sirius cried loudly, gaping at his friend. 'I thought you guys were finally agreeing to the "not seeing each other… it will endanger you both" kinda thing, its been over a year Prongs- you just couldn't help yourself could you?'

'I know Sirius, I know, but she isn't just 'some witch' is she?' James said frustration

'Lily will be reading _so much_ into this right now Prongs, you are only hurting her longer you know that right?' Sirius paused waiting for James to respond, but when he didn't he continued 'you two cannot be together right now,'

James traced his fingers over the lines appearing over his face. The stress of not being able to be honest, completely honest with Lily was starting to take its toll. And not to mention the reason they couldn't be together. Voldemort.

'I didn't mean to hurt her, the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt her.'

'Then end it, properly this time,' Sirius aid firmly his face was not smiling. He cared for both Lily and James, and above all wanted them kept alive. And if that meant being apart so be it, at least for now. And that is what Sirius thought James was misunderstanding, Albus had told them it would not be forever- just till the war was over. And for that Sirius couldn't understand why James and Lily couldn't just be.

'I can't tell her that, Sirius,' James said sounding half desperate.

'For the sake of your own life James- and Lily's'

'Have you never loved anyone Padfoot, and I don't mean just the casual thing you and EJ have- no offence. But ever truly felt real love?'

'What's real to you James might not necessarily be real to me,' Sirius flinched uncomfortably

'Well Lily- she is my real,' James said heavily looking glumly at his drink 'she did my heart good,'

Sirius was growing concerned, he knew James and Lily had at one time meant everything to each other and when they were at school (apart from Paige) James had never had another girlfriend other than Lily. And Sirius had to concede with James, Lily was his "real". Sirius moved from his seat to head for the bathroom.

James leant back into the seating, his hands absently playing with the half empty pint glass he saw over in the corner of the pub a cute couple, ginger haired girl and her dark blonde haired boyfriend, barely 17 he guessed – hands all over each other- a sparkling white ring shimmered when the dim lights of the pub fell on the girls third finger. James remembered when he had proposed to Lily. She had been half asleep after a very exhausting shift at St Mungos, resting in front of the fire he had placed the little silver box behind the clock on the mantlepiece, nearly twice dropping it in the fire. She hadn't believed him when he was down on one knee in front of the flames. James glanced back at the young couple- their hands finally off each other as the girl beamed at her ring, her bearded fiancé wouldn't take his eyes of her, nuzzling her ear with his nose.

Turning his attention away from the couple James glared gloomily at the half empty pint glass as he waited for Sirius to return.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

 **Authors Note: Thank you for reading. And to the best friend a witch could ever ask for I raise my wand and salute you Sir, as you are truly a gentleman who is worth celebrating.**

 **\/\/\/**


	3. Responsible

**AN: Thank you for reading. And thanks to my best friend for getting me through this shitty Christmas where I had to work. I want to take this time to say to my best friend that I love you and I think you are amazing.**

 **To my husband you are the centre of my universe and without your support this Lily would've wilted a long time ago.**

 **Please continue to water me :) So I can continue to grow.**

 **Disclaimer: Don't own a thing all belong to JKR apart from characters like Erin :) Who actually belongs to one of my very first reviewers…..**

 **/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

 **Chapter 3: Responsible**

 **\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

* * *

'Miss me much?' Sirius said collapsing back down in his seat pulling his pint closer James, rolling his eyes, responded. 'Always'

Sirius smiled. 'You still love Lily' ashamed James groaned lowering his face into his hands.

'Am I that obvious?'

'Care to retrace your steps in York?' smirked Sirius. James groaned. 'James, you've never been the type for one night witches'

'No just the one' admitted James sipping his drink. 'But I know I shouldn't see her again.'

Sirius sighed staring sorrowfully at his friend he said. 'That shouldn't be too hard given the fact I will lock you in Azkaban myself if you do'

'You'd really put me there, would you?' said James glancing over the rim of his glass as he placed it down on the table.

Sirius nodded. 'To save you from what the fuck is out there' said Sirius glancing toward pub door. 'Yes, with no fucking hesitation. And Lily Evans puts you in more danger than I want to even think about James. We are all trying to protect you, if I didn't know any better I would say you _knew_ Lily would be in York. And that is why you took such a mundane mission.' Narrowing his eyes at James and waiting for an answer Sirius scoffed as his friend's cheeks bruised bright red.

'I wasn't following her if that's what you are suggesting' grumbled James humbly shrinking against the back of his seat.

'Observing you and Evans dancing around one another long enough James it wouldn't surprise me' Sirius said with a gentle teasing in his voice.

'Well it was just coincidence.'

Sirius raised an eyebrow. 'Coincidence that you happened to just snog the witch.' James cast a glance at his empty drink painfully wishing Sirius would drop the merciless teenage teasing.

'Sirius' James lowered his gaze, his glasses slipping down his nose he glowered at Sirius.

'James I will imprison you in Azkaban myself. I swear'

'For what?'

Sirius sighed. 'You asked for my advice. I'm telling you, whatever happened in York- that's where it has to stay.'

'I'm not likely to see her again, am I?' shrugging his shoulder James sighed 'I just wanted to know I did the right thing.'

'Oh Arthurs Merlin!' cried Sirius 'what part' he threw an accusing look at James 'of "You will die" don't you get Prongs? There is no point trying to. Turn. Back. Time'

'Didn't say that did I? I am not trying to change anything that happened. I don't regret it.' snapping at Sirius he ruefully regretted it when Sirius carefully placed his wand on the table fixing James with a hard stare. James eyed the wand warily.

'I mean it Prongs. You are not going to die as long as breath fills my lungs.' Sirius curled his long slender fingers around his wand.

'The past is the past.' James agreed humbly as Sirius replaced his wand back

However his loyal heart was not listening and the fire once thought to be extinguished was as unpredictable and as bright as ever.

James loves Lily.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

When Lily arrived home she was not surprised to be greeted by her 15-year-old brother Harry Evans sitting on the doorstep outside their house. His thin school blazer was wrapped around his shoulders, he never dressed appropriately for the weather any time of year. And he never remembered to take his house keys.

'Again?' Lily surmised stepping over him she pushed her key into the lock. Harry stood up immediately shivering.

'Don't chastise me Lil. I'm flipping freezing.' Harry shivered.

'Isn't it still my job,' said Lily smirking her brother rushed into the house. Lily closed the door gently behind them.

'Oh my god warmth, helloooo heating,' he said running to the radiator in the hallway. He flung his sodden shoes off to the floor. Lily pushed the door closed and began removing her coat when Harry noticed she had been crying.

'Lils did Tuney make you try on horrid frilly dresses all afternoon.' Then sniffing his sisters breath he withdrew aghast. 'Was there a free bar in the bridal shop or somet.'

'I haven't seen her since she stormed off Harry.' Lily sniffed trying to hold back her tears, ignoring Harrys' remark. 'And- I just got fed up with her' she lied.

'Lily you know lying to your brother is pretty shitty right' said Harry.

'Harry shut up, ' Lily rolled her eyes. She stepped forwards moving into the cosiness of their front room observing Harry flop uncaringly onto the small orange two seat sofa. Where the painted pale lilac walls ended they met a hard wood floor which was covered with a large Persian rug which was complete with dark stains of liquid which had faded from when Lily was much younger and had been far less delicate on her feet.

'Where did her high and mightiness go by the way' he said.

Lily shrugged. 'She didn't exactly inform me of her future whereabouts'

'Why do you smell by the way... like...Lily were you on a date?' gazing suspiciously at his sister. Lily pulled herself down into the yellow high backed chair, untying her dark curly hair she threw her head back and laughed, eve she caught the feint scent of rum on her breath.

'No' said Lily quickly snapping her hairband to her wrist 'Harry it wasn't anything like you're thinking you know before you have a go at me. Lets remember who the adult is in the room.'

'Ohhh, right. Adult. Sure Lils...' he spoke slowly before tearing at his shirt he flung it over the back of the sofa. He rummaged in the drawers by the sofa pulling out one of their fathers large thick woollen cardigans. He buttoned it up and crossing the room sniffed at his sister again. 'You smell like _him._ '

'So what if I do?' she said flustered colour rising in her cheeks fast, the hollows beneath her eyes vanishing in the radiant glow of her drunken embarrassment. Harry tutted loudly and bending over to switch on the fireplace Lily withdrew her wand and beat him to it.

 _'Loremi'_

Harry looked at her disgruntled.

'Cheers sis but I can use a switch you know. How much you drink? If Dad finds out-'

'I'm 19 Harry. And it wasn't like I was planning on it.' Lily protested unzipping her boots she threw them under the chair. 'If I wanna spend time with James-'

'Thought you would've wised up to the fact he's a giant fucking douchebag prick by now!' shouted Harry who was moving back to the sofa when Lily threw one of her boots at him narrowly missing his head it landed on the sofa with a light thud.

'LANGUAGE HARRY!' she scolded.

'No Lils' he is a right arse-wipe. You haven't seen him in like over a year. It's weird sis.'

'HARRY!' Lily said scolding him, her tone softening as memories of the afternoon swum into her conscious thoughts. 'It wasn't like that this time.'

'Well you know what sis it aint my business but- don't get dragged into his lies again.'

When Lily had informed her family about James she had left out the more specific details, not wanting to worry any of them she told them that despite what they thought James was not the loyal man he purported to be. Lily thought low of herself for sinking to the depths of Dumbledore, a little white lie here or there to protect peoples feelings? She hated the lies. But the truth would only have upset her parents further and that was the last thing her family needed.

'If Horsey aint joining us' said Harry with a satisfied grin revelling in the peaceful absence of their eldest sister. 'You gonna cook us somet with that or?' he said nodding at her wand.

'Magic can't create food' Lily scolded 'but' she said conceding. 'I know how to switch on the toastie machine'

'No Branston!' Harry called making Lily smile.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

'This is madness,' Sirius implored 'you are putting all your faith in me James?'

James said seriously. 'The Secret Keeper Ritual is not only doable Padfoot but it could solve all the problems between me and Lily. We could both be protected'

The dim light from the standing lamp next to James was flickering, he poked the burgundy shade and it stopped. A warm glow was illuminating the apartment and Sirius was poking his head in his liquor cabinet given to him by his Uncle Alphard when he moved to Holland Park. The early evening was opening up and Sirius picked out a white coloured bottle and was pouring copious amounts into his brandy glass when there was a knock on the door, he put the glass and bottled down quietly on the table. James moved quickly grabbing his wand instantly he moved towards the door. Sirius swiftly joined him on the opposite side of the door, aiming his wand at the door casting 'revelio' the tension in Sirius body eased when he saw it was EJ Jackson holding a bottle of Firewhisky. And Sirius nodded at James mouthing "EJ", called out to her through the door.

'Where did I rip your Bay City Rollers Skirt?'

James looked at Sirius incredulously

'Really Black? You can't half be a fucking dickwad-'

'Yeah but you know. Just answer the question' Sirius said unperturbed.

'In the boys' dorm room,' she called impatiently her wand raised at the door she was trying to break through the enchantments protecting the doorway, Sirius smiled at her vein failed attempts.

'Don't try it' laughed Sirius 'EJ-'

'How'd you rip it.'

Looking through the door James and Sirius saw her blush. It was now becoming more amusing to Sirius.

'Sirius…I know James is in there with you… do I have to answer this?'

'Security purposes EJ,' he smirked, knowing full well it was indefinitely his on/off girlfriend standing behind the door now and not an imposter.

'I was 15 and when I tried to kiss you I tripped and ripped the seam,' she said closing her eyes. Sirius was loving every second, a little light relief from James' sullen mood wasn't hurting him.

'EJ…' Sirius said slowly

'It wasn't your lips I was aiming for, now let me in Black!'

Sirius flew his wand across the door way and witch several clicks the door swung open and EJ Jackson strolled across the threshold. Thrusting the bottle of Firewhisky roughly into Sirius chest she said.

'You don't deserve that you know,'

'So you don't want some of it then?' Sirius playfully wrangled the bottle in her face. EJ pushed her body down on their coach flinging her purple uniform coat on the back of the couch.

'Obvious question, Black,' EJ said her eyes narrowing at him as she flopped down on the sofa waiting for Sirius to pour her a drink. James returned to the plush gold embroidered chair picked up his book placing out the bookmark carefully he restarted where he left off.

'Not that I'm not pleased to see you EJ but it is nearly past your curfew right or has Fabien agreed to let you live a little?' Sirius smirked

'My roommate does not control me, he's got about as much control over me as you think you have Sirius Black,'

'Oh your little pet has let you off the leash' Sirius cooed pouring out the Firewhisky into a glass he passed it to her.

'Hmm,' she said licking her lips as she drank. Sirius sat down next to her resting his arm along the length of the sofa his fingers brushing the top of Erin's shoulder till she leant forward, pushing away from Sirius. 'How did the mission go James?' she added turning to him. Sirius threw him a slight warning look not to tell EJ anything about his intimate meeting with Lily.

EJ was a member of the Order but was sent on a missions due to her Irish heritage Albus had placed her within the depths of the muggle British government. Her ability to maintain peace and diffuse arguments had often come in handy when she played quidditch in school. And through to her adult life she had carried these skills masterfully.

'Nothing to report, it was a dead end. I think Albus knew all along there was little or no movement from that side of the Pennines,'

'Shame we could've done with it you know; the ministry is chaos. They think by the end of the year there will be a female Prime Minister,' EJ scoffed into her drink 'love to see that one day, maybe the problems back home would be resolved quicker if a woman WAS in charge,'

Not wanting to get into a conversation with EJ about her views on the carnage happening in and around Ireland James informed Sirius he would be going to bed.

'Prongs, think about what I said. Magic can't always solve everything, sometimes it can make things worse,'

'Oh have I missed something?' EJ said curiously her dark brown eyes flashing from James to Sirius 'not planning on some more midnight raids of Hogwarts Kitchens are you?'

'Think we're past the days of raiding the house elf's.. .er… alcoholic stores, don't you Jackson?' Sirius smirked casting is eyes down at the bottle of Firewhisky on the coffee table.

'Sirius is being a prat' commented James. 'It doesn't matter. Leave it be' he said threateningly to Sirius 'I don't need anyone else involved'.

'It involves us all James. That is what you can't comprehend. _This involves all of us_ '

 **\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

 **FLASHBACK**

 _'Do you really think this is a good idea?'_

 _'Heavens like I bloody well know. But he is insistent if nothing else' shrugged Sirius._

 _'Don't you think we should intervene before he makes an absolute disastrous humiliation of himself?'_

 _'Oh Moony, where would be the fun in that?' whispered Sirius._

 _They were crouched behind bushes watching James pace up and down next to the lake. He was wearing his best quidditch robes - he had even cleaned his boots- his broom was hovering a few feet above his head and he was distractedly muttering to himself._

 _'You think she will turn him down. AGAIN' said Peter worriedly._

 _'Lily is sensible.' said Remus. 'She knows James, I am sure she will let him down gently...this time'_

 _'She could always say yes this time' Sirius smirked._

 _'I hope you're right Padfoot. I don't think I could stand another weekend of proposal planning'_

 _James was startled when Lily arrived. Unlike James it was quite clear Lily was not as prepared as he was. She was scrubbing black soot from the end of her nose and rinsing her hands with a cloth, her dark green skirt was smeared in dirt and her auburn hair was fluffy and frazzled as she approached JAmes a wide smile spread across her face._

 _'See she looks happy at least this time' Peter said hopefully._

 _'This is Evans, she probably just finished hexing a Slytherin' tutted Sirius eyeing Lily's haggard appearance from the bushes. 'Which to give her some credit never thought she'd do in a million years till last year o' course'_

 _'Sirius!' chastised Remus 'how could you possibly know that-'_

 _'I've seen her in action Moony, you forget yourself. Sending Roxy those poisoned roses on Valentines Day after the nasty shit they played on James, come on Moony. The witch has got form'_

 _'Whatever' mumbled Remus edging around Sirius to get a better view. 'What is he doing now?'_

 _'James what is it this time.' she said using her wand to cast a cleaning charm on her robes and skirt. She eyed his appearance and then noticed his Comet 260 floating behind him. 'Oh no, no. No. You and I have had words about that thing! I am not. Repeat not getting on it again!'_

 _'Sweetest Lily-'_

 _'Oh no you don't. DOn't you Sweetest Lily me Pothead-'_

 _James blanched smiling incredulously at his girlfriend. 'What in Merlins name did you just call me?'_

 _'Sorry ' she muttered' its what Harry calls you- I was just on a fire call with him and Tuney.'_

 _'Your brothers cute yet abhorrently untrue assumption on my character aside' said James slowly casting a glance ack at his broomstick 'you might be right. You m ight be wrong'_

 _'James you know how much your riddles annoy me.' she said glaring at him. 'James I do love you, but don't ever ask me to get on another broom as long as I live. Promise me you'll let me stay away from those things...'_

 _'Alright. Why are you so messy, not that you don't look gorgeous even covered in...soot?' he said wiping the smudge she had missed off her nose. Sweeping her into a long kiss both Sirius and Remus looked away. Peter eyed the couple like some hopeful voyeur, which to be blunt they all were being right now whether they were actually looking or not. 'There we go,' James said smiling satisfyingly at her. 'All pretty again'_

 _'Charming James, charming' she laughed. He pulled her closer._

 _'Lily. Do you trust me?'_

 _'Ohhhh shit' losing his footing Sirius tumbled out of the bush and landed promptly at the feet of the vivacious and now very angry redhead._

 _'She did...' commented Sirius pulling himself up 'evening Evans. Fine time for a stroll wouldn't you agree?'_

 _'James. What is **he** doing here?'_

 _'Erm… honestly...I have a few theories all as more intriguing as the last. Padfoot?'_

 _'Hey- don't just stand by and let me get the Prongs-kicking Moony- get your arse out here too'_

 _Less dishevelled looking than he usually did Remus emerged from the bushes an red rosy apple blush appearing along the creases of his strong jawline when he glanced at Sirius he looked positively murderous._

 _'Can you not go anywhere without them' groaned Lily shaking her head, clearly disappointed in James she turned her back on him glaring at Sirius she said 'and didn't your mother teach you it was rude to spy on lovers'_

 _High colour began to rise in James' face as Lily grabbed his hand tying her fingers around his wrist tightly still glaring at Sirius._

 _'Ohhhh' he said in a teasing tone. 'When were you going to tell us that one Prongs-'_

 _'Its just a saying' Lily countered quickly beginning to realise how Sirius had interpreted her comments. ' A muggle one.'_

 _'Come on Lily. Accio' he called aiming his wand at his broom, it glided into his free outstretched hand. 'Care to join me Lily?'_

 _'What did I say about pulling me on that thing!'_

 _'Never to do it' grinned James._

 _'You're insufferable. You know that!' she said to him eyeing the broom carefully._

 _'James I wouldn't -' said Remus._

 _'Lily get on the broom or marry me' James watched the colour drain from her face and mouth drop open. Her eyes shot to James' hand where he was holding a small copper coloured cauldron shaped box. Her eyes were drawn to the little copper pot and it opened slowly to reveal a bright white gold band with a dark red stone bevelled in a twisted clasp._

 _Remus and Sirius exchanged nervous glances._

 _'Bribery. That's how you're playing it this time?' Lily sighed her lips twitching into a momentary smile. 'James how many more times are you going to ask me?'_

 _'Every chance I get till you say yes'_

 **\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

 **Authors Note: I am sorry this chapter is so short. I have family stuff to get done today.**

 **Thanks for reading though. Apologies for errors.**


	4. Change

**AN: Hello and thank you for continuing to read. This is chapter 4 of my cute little Lily Evans and James Potter fiction. It won't be novel length... but lets see shall we.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the Potter characters as much as I think I do.**

 **TIA for reading. If you want a mention let me know and I will pop you in my fic somewhere.**

* * *

 **Dedicated to loyalty**

 **To Him.**

 **From Me.**

\/\/\/\/\/\

'How'd it go?'

'She turned up at least' sighed James snatching a biscuit from the counter. Erin was doodling over the grid of a rather difficult looking crossword using an acid pink sugar quill to decorate the vacant squares. Glancing over her shoulder James said. 'I'm quite confident that isn't how you fill those in, Erin.'

She looked up at him giving him a filthy glare before throwing her head back down scribbling furiously on the paper. She was always agitated whenever Sirius was away on a mission.

'Sirius not back yet Remus?' he called out strolling into the lounge. Remus was reading on the couch and was surrounded by piles of parchment and thick heavy tomes.

'Oh well erm.' Remus wasn't really paying attention. 'He...' his brow furrowed at the parchment in his hand 'is out. Moody. Muggles. Underage Magic.' James sat down opposite Remus careful to avoid the mass of parchment lying around the floor.

'Remus are you still working on this? I thought you had decided against going back.'

'I don't particularly want to James. But something tells me Moody is not going to exactly let me _play_ _pet_ at home.' Remus removed his reading glasses and closed his book. 'Your date turned up then?'

'She did yeah-Roxanna was-'

'Fuck you went on a date with the witch that nearly poisoned you?' blurted out Erin.

'I needed a distraction.' James retorted. 'Not that it matters, doubt she found my company sparklingly entertaining'

The fireplace turned bright blue and Sirius popped out brushing the ash from his shoulders a new blooded scar running the length of his arm as if he had splinched himself and had clumsily tried to use a healing charm to cover up the wound.

'Lemme guess Prongs. Who **_else_** was at the _Calf and Half_ tonight?' Sirius strolled into the kitchen planting a chaste kiss on the top of Erin's head. She shoved him off roughly before acknowledging his presence when the smell of blood caught in her nose.

'Fucking hell Sirius.' Erin said her eyes tracing along the deep cut that appeared on Sirius' forearm. It was half healed and had started to scab over already, no doubt clumsily healed by some trainee healer out in the field with them for the first time. Sirius's casual and carefree attitude with his life infuriated Erin but he never listened to her and the more she chastised the more brazen he appeared to become. 'One day something bad will happen to you where you won't be able to come back from!'

'So spying on Evans again are we Prongs?' said Sirius ignoring Erin as she attempted to apply a cooling solution to his wound.

'No Sirius, she wasn't there before you drag my arse over the hot coals again,'

'Did you have fun with the Mistress of Poison?' asked Erin.

'Hahaha, you actually took Miller up on her offer?' laughed Sirius moving into the bedroom he called back. 'James I said look at other options. Not date the devil fucking incarnate.'

'She did order oysters inngarlic sauce.'

'How evil she must be, eh.' Remus commented dryly gazing across at James, he was eagerly took the drink Sirius was offering. 'At least a witch looks your way.' Remus grumbled.' Most of the witches I take a shine to take one look at this.' he jabbed his fingers at the shabby embroidered five pointed purple star framed by a crescent moon that was stitched on the right side of his robes. 'And they run the other way or some even fancy a game if hunt and seek.' He added angrily his eyes flashing toward the book on his lap. James looked apologetic but felt it better he say nothing but Sirius intervened.

'You're the one who is too picky Moony-'

'Sirius!' Erin scolded. 'You have all the sensitivity of a trash panda-'

'And your point?'

'Sirius you are getting blood on the rug' groaning Erin aimed her wand _'Emorav Foinate'._

He smirked at the rug before glancing fleetingly at Remus. 'Ah worse things have happened on this rug, right Moony?'

'I will never ever provide you with the liberty to discuss such antics in front of other people Padfoot. I would advise you shut up' and aiming his wand at Srius Remus cast a sewing charm and before Sirius had a chance to react his lips were sewn tightly shut.

Remus smiled contently at his handiwork. 'At least I have never, ever fornicated in an Orchard.'

Sirius quickly muttered the counter curse running his tongue over the tiny marks the stiches had left on his lips.

'Green suits you in so many shades Moony' Sirius growled in an amused tone. 'Damn it witch.' He said as Erin tried to force him to sit down.

'Sit yer arse in that chair and you mutter any protesting Sirius Black it won't be just your lips that we will sew up.'

 **\/\/\/\/\/\**

Lily reached over the top of the wardrobe. She groped around in the semi-darkness and triumphantly cried out as her hand fell on the thin metal tiara. The music and chatter from downstairs was filtering up the stairs and Lily could hear Petunia's screeching coming from her bedroom.

'YOU GOT THE WRONG FLOWERS' bellowed Petunia.

Lily cringed worrying about Petunia's bridesmaids (one of which was actually Lily's first friend from her days at Primary school, Sammy).

'This wedding is turning your sister into a real witch' said Sammy marching into Lilys' room clutching a bunch of bright yellow flowers. 'I can't stand this!'

'What is she mad about this time?'

'Vernon got her the wrong colours' said Sammy holding up the flowers. She flung them into the bin. 'You look lovely though' she commented glancing at Lily's deep purple coloured dress, it was short cutting off above the knee. Lily had altered the dress without Petunia knowing.

'She should've let me pick them up.' Lily said fixing the tiara smartly in the crown of thick auburn hair that she had styled across her forehead. Lily snorted at her reflection.

Over an hour later Lily was standing in the small church of St Matthews with her mother fussing over the shortness of her daughters dress. Lily let her mother try and pull down the hem and became slightly amused when she started to mutter things about 'those cheap market taylors never do it right'. The skirt would not pull down further and eventually Lily's mother left her alone retreating inside the church. Lily wandered over to the graveyard, casting a wry glance at the clock - she had fifteen minutes before she was expected inside.

The graveyard was three times the size of the church itself. Lily strolled between the headstones carefully watching where her feet fell. The grass was overgrown in places and headstones deeply set into the ground were not visible to the naked eye.

Lily drew up along the most overgrown part of the graveyard, where the headstones were oldest and the names of those who had long been forgotten were inscribed in flowery scripture. Lily stopped at the grave of a man named Ibrahim Calhoun who had died in 1747. Inscribed on the gravestone were two lines of script.

 _'To be grateful costs a man nothing,_

 _To be ungrateful will cost a man everything he has'_

The words had a profound effect on Lily when she had first come across them as a young teenager. And they had taught her how to be kind, she suspected Ibrahim may have died an ungrateful man given the note of the scripture.

'Lily!' her grandfathers coarse sounding voice echoed over the gravestones. 'Lily...' and his voice trailed off as Lily caught sight of him turning to go back inside the church. She took one last look at Ibrahim's grave. She often wondered did anyone mourn those whose graves were without flowers or tributes. Did anyone care that they were here?

But Lily did. She cared.

The church bell rang signalling the imminent arrival of, for what would be the last time she would use this name, Petunia Evans. As the last bell finished Lily heard the distinctive sound of the motorcade Avalon Hatchback trundle over the gravel, skidding as it went with the exhaust stuttering loudly Lily was surprised Petunia had needed the sound of bells to herald her arrival. The car would've easily been enough of an audio signal for her father to remind him of Petunia's imminent arrival.

/\/\/\/\

 _Flashback_

 _Lily was perching precariously on the edge of James bed. The night had been spent thus far emotionally draining one another- she shouted at him - he said some awful things to her before collapsing into bed. He was scowling at the canopy above his bed- a snitch, enchanted, was hovering above his head and he let it zoom far enough away before catching it again._

 _With tears in her eyes Lily said to him in a voice barely louder than the chortle of a mouse._

 _'I'm sorry, James.' Scowling at her he grabbed the snitch then tossed it back - its little gold wings buzzing as it fluttered high toward the canopy. James was silent his eyes focused on the snitch. Lily sobbed harder._

 _'You always side with him. I don't know why this time I expected it to be any different'_

 _'You don't understand James. Severus is-'_

 _'You don't have to tell me what he is.' James snarled at her. 'I'm perfectly capable-'_

 _'To me James!' she interjected shrieking at him. 'I meant to me!'_

 _'Why would someone like that? Someone who, someone who outright flaming well hurt you and gave no thought to consequence to how you felt, ever be a good friend to you?'_

 _'You don't know him.'_

 _'I know of him, and that's enough' snorted James his eyes still fixe don the snitch. Lily swivelled to face him bringing one leg up meet her torso onto the bed she looked at him with blood shot eyes pleading with him to listen._

 _'Please James. He doesn't know what he's doing-'_

 _'Yes he does Lily. He has control. He isn't like Crabbe and the others, you know **he** has **chosen** this' _

_'Please James there has to be a way-'_

 _'You defend him like he's worth fucking saving, Lily.'_

 _'HE IS TO ME!'_

 _'Lily, why do you never, never take my side?'_

 _Flustered Lily replied._

 _'Because he has no one to take his, James.'_

 _\/\/\/\/\/\/\_

The cloudless skies were streaked with red and pink as the light began to fade away James was stood in the shared courtyard at the back of Sirius' apartment lighting up a cigarette he inhaled deeply the welcoming scent of tobacco in the cool night air. He drew back heavily on the little white stick between his fingers and cat his eyes to the sky thinking about Lily was so easy to do when he was alone. The skills of occlumency had been taught during their final year at Hogwarts but James had never been very accomplished at it. Sirius on the other hand was proficient in the skill and although he respected his friends privacy when James thought of Lily he couldn't help but show it on his face since his fleeting meeting with her in York.

James could see her face- flushed a soft pink and when he kissed her she wold always turn red as if his kiss was too much for her to take. He loved thinking about how he made her feel, that warmth would spread to her lips as he brought her into his lap. The solid emerald colour of her eyes buried him when they kissed- she would open her eyes softly when their lips and just gaze at him for no other reason than the fact they had just shared a deep -

'Prongs you look like hell.' said Sirius snatching the cigarette from James hand unwillingly. Taking a quick drag he then passed it back to James before sitting down on an overturned flowerpot. Shouts and yells were coming from the flats above them.

'I've felt worse.' James admitted stubbing out the cigarette and tossing it into a unkempt flower bed. ''Have you thought anymore about what I said?'

'Of course I have.' responded Sirius. 'There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. But are you sure this would work- James isn't it going to be like putting a target on your back and shouting out "hey come get me! I'm heeerrreee" to the sodding death eaters?'

'The ritual isn't going to be a problem Padfoot and it isn't the death eaters that are after me is it?'

'And you want to just give Voldemort more reason to look for you?'

'He can't search for something that can't be found. We could adjust the ritual meaning that no one. No one had to die.'

'Why do I feel,' began Sirius sighing deeply 'that I'm not going to like this anymore than the last plan...'

\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Because he wasn't supposed to like it and a few days later and not for the first time Sirius Black was sitting in Dumbledores office thoroughly antagonised but unlike before it was not a visit to be proud of or indeed smug. He had picked a chair in the corner farthest from the headmaster as he could possibly be standing next to him was Erin and sat opposite him was James . Kingsley Shacklebolt was stood by the headmasters side. They had been summoned to discuss the possibility of new operations occurring in the muggle world- something the Ministry was now taking as a serious threat to their security.

'What?'

'We can protect everyone. We can stop this war-'

'No, no, no. I am not taking part in this. You've meddled with time before I presume, Sir?' Sirius said his gaze focused on Dumbledore he hesitantly waited for his old headmaster to explain but seeing Dumbledores smile falter he scoffed. 'Thought as much-'

'Time logic is a branch of magic that involves us all Mr Black. But what Mr Potter and I are suggesting works outside of the normal parameters of such magical logistics'

'And how do you plan to work outside the rules of time, Dumbledore?' posed Kingsley. 'Black's right. Meddling with things that have come to pass could cause unforeseen damage to the world we know as our home.'

'Then we find another way don't we.' James argued. 'Voldemort isn't as strong as he thinks he is-'

'And what if we fuck it up, James?'

'That's why I have called all three of you here.' said Dumbledore aiming his wand a tall silver painted time turner appeared on his desk spinning slowly with the white sand inside gently trickling back and forth between the halves. 'What I am about to tell you will never leave this room. I hope to not have to bestow an Unbreakable Vow on each of you but if I have to-'

'You question our loyalty?' said Sirius.

'Not yours particularly as it stands now Mr Black but let me say your future self may not always trust the right people.'

Kingsley placed a hand on the Headmasters' shoulder. 'Need to know. Remember.'

'Yes, of course' said Albus a half smile almost visible through his burgeoning grey beard. 'We need one of you to perform the ritual- and another to step through time'

Sirius leapt from his chair pacing he shook his head at James who was staring transfixed at the time turner as it vibrated gently causing Fawkes to flap his wings irritated at the intrusion of such an object so close to the proximity of his plumage.

'You are not telling me that you want us to use that- what about everything you ever taught us.' Sirius threw at Kingsley. 'During our training you said Time Magic was one of the most if not the most complex part of magic a wizard could perform. And the consequences of it going wrong-'

'We think we may have picked a point in both your futures where the consequences should be minimal.' Albus explained. 'We have picked June 1996 for you to go back'

Exchanging glances James and Sirius silently knew they had more to discuss away from the prying eyes of Albus and Kingsley.

\/\/\/\/\/\

 **Authors Note: Thank you for reading and reviewing. Happy New Year!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the characters! Or the world in which they belong.**


	5. Crashed the Wedding

**Authors Note: I have worked on this chapter with my writing partner from work, she is dastardly evil but this time around she has managed to tame it down. And below are the beginnings of a song, written by me and the music provided by my one of my closest friends from university.**

 **I have passed my theory test this week so I am soooooo happy! I will soon be driving :) :) :)**

 **Claimer: I own Erin Jackson, Harry Evans, Paige Howlett and any others you don't recognise.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own HP characters or the world to which they belong.**

 **To my ex- you clearly didn't want me despite the after thought- but I won't be anyone's after thought.**

 **My husband loves me universally without condition. And he CHOSE TO STAY. Never underestimate the power of that ladies and gents.**

 **The one who stayed he had my heart last and decided to keep it.**

 **\/\/\/\/\**

 _ **I see your face and you look away**_

 _ **Running away from your heart**_

 _ **You are begging me to stay**_

 _ **Leaving my ghosts at the start**_

 _ **I need to leave just let me be**_

 _ **This heart needs to learn**_

 _ **To show me how to be me**_

 _ **Out here in the wilds...**_

 _ **Lu and Fa Sto 2019**_

 **\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

 **Chapter 5**

 **Crashed the Wedding**

 _March 1979_

After James and Sirius had left the office a subdued silence filled the space. Albus reached out to stroke Fawkes who cried mournfully beneath his touch. Shacklebolt had left by way of the floo network and Albus was left with only his phoenix for company, the birds' mournful lament calmed him - Fawkes was able to collect the emotional fallout from Sirius' rather emotional and angered outrage when Albus suggest sending James on a mission from where no one could return. There was a distinct possibility that Albus was wrong, his previous dalliance with such magic had not ended entirely how he had hoped. Time had an annoying habit of running short when all you needed was more of it. He looked down at the time turner still contained within his magic it was starting to spiral and tiny grains of sand were still trickling back and forth in a perfect balance as the silver rings obscured each other spinning steadily within the parameters of the charm acting upon it.

Diverting his attention was a sharp knock on the door. Carefully moving around his desk, he pressed his palm against the door which dissolved underneath his touch revealing only to him the persons standing on the other side of the door.

'Aberforth.'

'Albion' said Aberforth. Albus bristled at the sound of his brother deliberate use of the nickname he detested. Immediately making his self comfortable sitting down Aberforth's eyes widened at the sight of the time turner. 'Hogwarts or Ministry?'

'Neither are likely to be of interest to you Aberforth.'

'Merlin forbid the _greatest_ Dumbledore bless one with an explanation for his actions.' Aberforth glowered at Albus who had turned his attention back to Fawkes. 'Still love animals more than people I see'

'They possess a greater understanding than most wizards I believe' said Albus lovingly caressing Fawkes. 'What can I do for you this evening, Aberforth?'

Irritated but not in the least bit surprised his brother was paying more attention to Fawkes than him 'For once you are going to help me. I've 'erd things. Things I should not be hearing, what is it you are up too?'

'Your concern for my affairs Aberforth is duly noted.'

'Albus talk for 'Mind my own beeswax' is that' Aberforth muttered darkly fiddling with a gold ring on his left hand. 'I wanted to ask you straight out- is it true that you are forming an army to fight him? You're recruiting students?'

'Aberforth. They are off age-'

'Monty Potter know you're sending his boy-'

'I don't know what you have heard Aberforth but James Potter makes his own decisions-' Albus watched a small throaty chuckle left Aberforth's mouth.

'Not. What. I. Heard.' Aberforth replied sharply. 'Those wizards are not for you to play with like you played with Ariana.' A low disgruntled growl in his voice surveying Albus with great mistrust and dislike. At the mention of Ariana Aberforth expected his older brother to recoil even slightly but when he didn't Aberforth narrowed his eyes and slowly inclined his head. 'You never change do you Albus.'

'You said you came here to ask me Aberforth. The rumours you think you have heard-' Albus said choosing to ignore the slight about their sister he calmly placed his hand covetingly over the time turner. Fawkes sipped eagerly at his bowl. 'And the wizards in my employ are _of age._ '

'That time piece-' said Aberforth jerking his head at the table where it was still gently rotating. Albus placed it between his hands and his eyes stared hard at the rotating silver rings till the time turner had shrunk to the size of a tiny trinket, small enough to wear on a chain.

'Is not your concern.'

'Yes it was and still is. You hurt more people than you help. Tinker never got over it you know... And not to mention what you did to Gellert and the disobedient behaviour-' Aberforth reminded him with a stern smile which Albus did not return.

'I am growing weary of your constant interfering when it comes to my affairs Aberforth.' Albus snapped. 'What I choose to do at this school and not to mention in my life isn't really anything you should concern yourself with. Nor should Tinker or the others.'

 **\/\/\/\/\/\**

James' feet hit the ground hard. He hitched his jeans up and checked he wasn't splinched before casting a gaze over Sirius to ensure no splinching had been inflicted, they walked unscathed into their apartment. Sirius flicked the lights on and saw that Erin was lying in the exact same spot they had left her over an hour ago. James strolled straight into the kitchen in search of the drink that had been denied him at The Shaftesbury.

Erin had her back to Sirius when he entered the living room her head was resting to one side her eyes tightly closed she was writhing against the sofa cushions with a smile across her face as her chest gently rose. Sirius lowering his head slowly he brushed his lips atop of her forehead. She stirred, her eyes half open Sirius then kissed her sweetly. His broken lips caressed the soft curve of her cheek.

Erin reacting swiftly to his touch couldn't help but smile as their lips parted. 'You're back in one piece. I always think its a good thing when you walk through the door with all your limbs attached to your body.' She said stretching her arms and placing them around Sirius' neck.

'Of course.' Sirius grinned his dark long hair falling into her face. He kissed her swiftly before her arms could pull him down. 'You had a productive day I see?'

'Don't I always have productive days when I'm not working' yawning Erin moved her papers off the couch and let Sirius sit down. In the kitchen James was making as much noise as a stampede of baby hippogriffs as he slammed cupboards open and shut groaning in frustration as he searched for something stronger than tea.

'I take it your meeting upset him?' suggested Erin cradling her body into the warm embrace of her boyfriend who placed an arm around her shoulders in an adoring way, had it not been a few rough days Erin would certainly have stayed at home with her flat mate but her desire to be with Sirius was fast becoming her obsession.

'There were complications' Sirius explained. 'Dumbledore has this crazy arse plan about using Time Magic to stop Voldemort. The logic doesn't add up- even by Dumbell standards...'

'Sirius' James slammed a cupboard door shut staring pointedly at Sirius. 'Don't tell her anything-'

Swivelling her head a confused look on her face Erin said. 'Er excuse me why shouldn't he?'

James didn't falter under her angered expression as much as Sirius so often did. 'You don't need to be dragged into this Erin. This is a job for Sirius and me to do. It is too dangerous for you-' and Erin jumped to her feet.

'Do I look like a Lily!?' she glowered at him. 'Don't fucking try treat me like your golden princess James Potter or you will learn just how much of a princess I am not. If I need to remind you who came top in Arms and Disarming? I have no problem jogging your memory.'

'I wouldn't ignore her James.' Sirius interjected pulling his girlfriend back down onto the sofa. 'You need to really consider the consequences, and I know that isn't something that comes naturally to you.' He added glimpsing the annoyed look on James' face.

'I don't want people to get hurt. And _I do care_ about the consequences-'

'With the greatest degree of respect here James your actions might have consequences deeper than you realise. There is a simple answer to all of this. We win this war. We beat him, so stop being such a sanctimonious git. You can't do this alone.'

James threw his head back laughing.

'Did I say something funny?' said Erin narrowing her eyes at James.

'You calling me sanctimonious. I find _that_ hilarious.'

'My witch isn't entirely wrong.' Sirius said. James broke his attention from Erin and carefully considered Sirius' words. 'You have a decision to make James, which concerns us all.'

'We are all in this together, wars are not won by generals James. They are won by soldiers which regrettably is what we are' countered Erin. 'And as for Lily, well...don't you think you should talk to her about it before you vanish completely from her life? I presume that is what you're plans entail of course.'

James snorted. 'See. Hilarious'

'Now you're just being a prick.' Retorted Erin glancing for support toward Sirius she added 'you should think about working together, Sirius?'

'Erin lay of a little. He knows we always work together.' He muttered squeezing her hand gently. 'James why don't you tell Lily your plans?.'

'Because she would try and stop him. That's why!' said Erin. 'And you don't want Lily to stop you, do you? Even if it means you lose everyone else in the process.'

Over an hour later Sirius had lured Erin away from James' orbit even slipping her an Invisible Dream draught into her usual evening drink. There was the usual yells and cat calls from the top floor apartment situated above their own. It was close to nine o'clock when Erin drifted off to sleep without even apologising to James and Sirius was still trying to persuade James to talk to Lily, against his usual better judgement he thought it wise that the beguiling redhead could be the one to dissuade James from the outrageous plan laid out by Dumbledore.

'Come on. I am taking you out.' Sirius said closing the bedroom door softly. 'In fact I've heard they serve good brew in Soho.'

'Don't feel like it.' Grumbling James turned his face away from Sirius burying his hair into the fluffy red cushion.

'Well owl shit Prongs. Get your cloak and follow me.'

\/\/\/\/\

 _Cokeworth, West Midlands._

Crowds had gathered in the hall and the music had been turned down to barely audible as Mrs Petunia Dursley walked brazenly down the staircase with her husband striding ahead of her shaking hands with their guests. His thick black moustache was especially trimmed and was twitching like it had a life of its own. As he reached the last step he turned to look up at his new wife. Her thin and bony legs were covered by the deepest ivory coloured satin, her arms long and covered in silk gave her a regal appearance topped with her simple white gold tiara. Her husband beamed proudly. However she did not return his enthusiastic smile, the corners of her mouth upturned into a forced smile that didn't reach her eyes. Petunia loved attention being lavished upon her but sharing the limelight with her new husband was something of a nuance.

Lily watched as her sister was forced to mingle with the members of her new family all the time being rolled out as the new Mrs Dursley and Lily half wondered when Petunia would regain full control and start barking orders at her husband like she had done to Lily all her life. Harry was being reprimanded by their mother in a quiet corner of the marquee, Lily caught her brothers irritated gaze and pleading look but Lily just smiled innocently back at her brothers predicament.

The wedding party had retired to the Glenmore Golf Course- a swanky and expensive estate on the outskirts of Cokeworth where the Dursely family were lifelong members according to Petunia and her new husband. The Evans family was nowhere near as large in number as the Dursely family and Lily was stood at the bar with Sammy before she was abandoned by the bridesmaid in favour of a better offer. Lily swallowed a gulp of champagne watching from afar Harry dance awkwardly with one of Vernon's vile cousins who glared at him every time he stepped on her toes.

Eyeing the crowd carefully Lily wondered where her father had vanished too. It was not long to the daughter father dance and she was pretty confident Petunia would be making a very big display of being the "favourite daddys girl" in front of her new family. Lily was sat on a table with some distant Evans relatives of her father- an aunt she had never met before and two men dressed in matching brown tweed suits who proclaimed to be related to her through her grandfather- not that Lily really cared she was just relieved she wasn't sitting near the main wedding party who had spent a large proportion of the wedding breakfast glaring at Lily as if she were a un-godly presence.

 _'But where do you go to my lovely_  
 _When you're alone in your bed_  
 _Tell me the thoughts that surround you_  
 _I want to look inside your head, yes I do...'_

Lily scowled at the music coming from the band at the other end of the room and staring at her empty champagne flute she walked through the throng of dancers and wandered outside. Steps swept downwards into the car park where BMW and Audi cars were parked cosily up to one another- the parking valets had tried their best but there was little room left for any more cars. She heard it before she saw it. A tremendous roar of an engine unlike anything she had ever heard a muggle car do and throwing her head back her eyes searched for the source of the raucous.

'Sodding hell!' cried Lily as she saw a motorbike plummet to the ground. Lily stepped backwards watching apprehensively as the bike ground to a halt squeezing between the tightly packed car park. The wizard guiding the bike waited for his passenger to get off but Lily watched as the rider was forced to get off first and help the passenger who was very wobbly on their feet. Lily instinctively reached for her wand.

'For a Chaser you suck ass when it comes to flying, don't you.'

James responded. 'Shut up Sirius. That bike of yours isn't exactly a Comet 260, is it?'

Lily weaved quickly between the tightly packed cars.

Her jaw clenched and her nostrils flared Lily took a deep breath. 'You have got to be kidding me.' Groaning she approached the bike and catching sight of Sirius Black not only surprised her but when the familiar scent of butter cookies and wood oil hit her she felt a warm blush appear across her cheeks. 'James!'

'You didn't think he'd get here without me did you.' Sirius laughed then taking in Lily's polished appearance said. 'You're in a dress Evans, must be a super special occasion.'

'I don't exactly recall inviting either of you to this special occasion.' Lily said scathingly, her eyes wide staring at James she tried to bury the instincts bubbling away inside her. The desires she held for him in York two months ago were showing no signs of evaporating, as images of him throwing his arms around her and kissing her fully till she could no longer breath flashed through her mind.

'Wasn't ever fishing for one.' Sirius remarked. 'We are here on Order business.'

'I can protect my own family Sirius.' Lily said averting James' gaze. 'Dumbledore made it very clear to us muggleborns that the Order no longer needed us.'

Behind Lily long shadows appeared and Sirius shifted into Padfoot. James on the other hand stood still.

'And Severus is here too,'

James looked at Lily like she had flung a flaming, burning hot squid in his face. Padfoot growled.

'Snape is here?'

'Evening Potter.'

 **\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

 **Authors Note: Thank you for reading. This is evolving slowly which I like- I have written an end. Woohoo**


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